Pride and Prideful.
Explain what each means and how they differ. Also explain how they relate to being a kajira. A minimum of 5,000 words.
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This is going to be a fun essay… not. For those of you that dont make it to the bottom, its about 2500 short.
Angillicbrat has an essay on this one – although minus one of the zeros… not a bad one either – very succinct. Read further down her page and you find she is a second life character, pity really. It makes me wonder how much of the character is contained within the real person. I hope from what I read a lot is contained in the person, I have a real disdain for playsluts.
Anyway, a definition of pride and pridefulness according to Wordnet, a Princeton University lexical database of English is:
Noun- S: (n) pride, pridefulness (a feeling of self-respect and personal worth)
- S: (n) pride (satisfaction with your (or another’s) achievements) “he takes pride in his son’s success”
- S: (n) pride (the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards)
- S: (n) pride (a group of lions)
- S: (n) pride, superbia (unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins))
- S: (v) pride, plume, congratulate (be proud of) “He prides himself on making it into law school”
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary has pride defined as:
Main Entry: 1pride
Pronunciation: \ˈprīd\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English prȳde, from prūd proud — more at proud
Date: before 12th century
1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship
2 : proud or disdainful behaviour or treatment : disdain
3 a : ostentatious display b : highest pitch : prime
4 : a source of pride : the best in a group or class
5 : a company of lions
6 : a showy or impressive group
My own understanding of pride is an emotion, which depending on the context can be either a positive emotion that is the product of praise for a task completed well, or something internally generated through self-reflection, for me, normally going hand in hand with a sense of achievement. In the positive aspect, pride is known as virtuous pride, greatness of soul or magnanimity. However pride can also be seen as a vice or sin, seen as having an overly high opinion of oneself, as vanity, vainglory or hubris.
I find it interesting that Nietzsche saw pride as an example of a previous, master set of morals that had been replaced with slave moralities. In this, pride is seen as good, because it acknowledges the good and the noble, rejecting the weak and insipid. Without pride, Nietzsche argued, we will remain subservient. I really find the last sentence interesting, especially in the context of Master/kajira relationships.
“There is a difference,” laughed Hassan, “between the pride of a free woman and the pride of the slave girl. The pride of a free woman is the pride of a woman who feels herself to be the equal of a man. The pride of the slave girl is the pride of the girl who knows that no other woman is the equal of herself.
Tribesmen of Gor, e-book edition, page 573.
In everything that is read, in the John Norman books, in real life Gorean Master or slave blogs, pride is seen as a necessary, welcomed aspect of being a kajira. A kajira’s pride stemming from knowing that in her Master’s eyes, no woman is her equal. That she pleases her Master in everything she does, that His pleasure is the driving force within her… Yet Nietzsche sees a person without pride to be subservient… I am now very curious to explore Nietzsche more, but I know that would take me a few weeks to get hold of the relevant texts, read them and formulate my own opinions based on what his reasoning is for this. *grins* looks like I have found a little more bedtime reading again!
Gestures that demonstrate pride are many and can involve a lifting of the chin, smiles, or arms on hips to demonstrate victory. There is a lot of research into pride and displays of this and some research shows that the nonverbal expression of pride conveys a message that is automatically seen and processed by others regarding a person’s high social status in a group. Behaviourally, pride is shown by an expanded posture in which the head is tilted back and the arms extended out from the body. This postural display is innate and it is even shown in congenitally blind individuals who lack the opportunity to see it in others.
Definitions of prideful on the Web:
- disdainful: having or showing arrogant superiority to and disdain of those one views as unworthy; “some economists are disdainful of their …
- exultant: joyful and proud especially because of triumph or success; “rejoicing crowds filled the streets on VJ Day”; “a triumphal success”; “a triumphant shout”
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn - Full of pride
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prideful - pridefulness – pride: a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn - pridefulness – The state or condition of being prideful; pride
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pridefulness - pridefully – In a prideful or haughty manner
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pridefully
The event that led to this particular essay being set though was not me being proud of an accomplishment I had achieved, or of being proud to serve or be with my Master… It was an event, a moment in the first two weeks of be separated from my husband. I was angry, upset and not in a good place at all… yes, I had just achieved something, but I was not proud because of my achievement, but proud out of blind anger, out of other people thinking I was incapable of doing a certain task or believing if I did it, I would be inadequate in the result. I was the negative aspect of proud, I was filled with an “I can cope perfectly well alone” – “I don’t damn well need anyone” type of proud. I was prideful. The thing I am thankful for is it only took a few words of caution from my Master for me to realise my attitude and come back from that place. I am glad he corrected me and so quickly, I know if it had been in the morning, when he is asleep, it would have taken more than a quick evaluation of my attitude for me to retract… I would have had time to stew. One thing I know I am damn good at and I wish I were not is over analysing things and stewing. I know I will have more of these moments, as time passes and opinions, feelings and events make personal insecurities surface, but I am glad my Master recognised it and corrected it before it took hold too much. I have spent too many years of my life with that I don’t give a damn independent attitude, it has taken my Master months to get it down to the level it is at now. A lot of quite uncomfortable months for me getting used to the expectation and demand that I will not hide my emotions or thoughts from him… Not that I can very well anyway! Right from the start I have not been able to control my emotions when near my Master; my Master knows this well and also knows me well enough to know if I am attempting to hide.
It took me a bit of digging about, but I realise that the attitude I had at that moment, I personally would align better with Hubris. Hubris, by contrast to pride, involves an arrogant tone and satisfaction in oneself in general. Hubris tends to be associated with more internal individual, negative outcomes. Hubris can be seen in expressions of aggression and hostility. It is not necessarily associated with a high self-esteem, contrary to popular opinion, but with fluctuating self-esteem. At the time and I recognise still, my self esteem is not in a good place. It is fluctuating. Even though a part of me accepts that I want this, I want an end to this marriage, I want and need to be with my Master; it still feels like a failure. After 17 ½ years I have failed to keep a marriage intact – even though I know that there were two parties to the marriage and quite a lot of shit has gone off on both sides over the years – it still feels deep inside like I have failed. Even though my Master has spoken at length with me and told me repeatedly it is an acceptable failure… to me it still is a failure. It is not often I fail in life. If I do something, it is always with 100% commitment, 100% attention. Failure for me is not acceptable. It’s a bastard when you do not have control over that failure and that is what my Master keeps trying to instil in me, that the failure was going to happen anyway because I did not have full control over the result. I agree with him, and understand that what he says is true. Master knows every little detail of what has happened over the past year and what has gone wrong in my own mind over the years. He knows the major mistakes I have made in the marriage and how I feel about them. In any case, the negative feelings associated with failure do make me want to hide and disappear into a black space where no one can see me or hurt me. Where I can just curl up and not exist, not hurt anyone else, or allow anyone else to hurt me. It makes me want to bring my defences up and the only persons just now getting past that is my boys and my Master… The only person seeing everything is Master. I have to be strong for the boys; they can NOT know how I feel under any circumstances. They are number 1 priority.
Anyways, apparently excessive feelings of hubris have a tendency of creating conflict and sometimes terminating close relationships. Hubris is generally considered one of the few emotions without some positive functions. Though it is easy to argue the opposite, examples of the evil of hubris are used regularly to introduce people into more selfless values–”Hitler had a lot of hubris”, etc. Hmm, there is a little part of that sentence that sticks… Terminating close relationships… probably the reason I felt it in the first place – terminating myself from that relationship.
I read somewhere – and I am narked that I cannot remember where, but I read that there is nothing lonelier or more destructive than a woman imprisoned by her sense of pride. I can understand this. It would be easy to slip into a place where I do not let people in because I am too concerned with being able to do things myself or because I have gotten myself locked into a position that I have taken on something, some extreme statement, ultimatum or rule. If I am honest, I think I have been there before, a long time ago and quite often at various stages of my failed marriage. Where I have assumed an attitude of hubris, of pridefulness in some silly attempt to protect myself from others. Later, it often seems silly but I have no way to back down. I have gone and made a cage for myself. It is also, I realise now a little silly to assume this attitude to try to protect yourself from others hurting you… that act of hurt has already happened – that is the reason you are assuming the emotion! Actually recognising that, recognising the emotion on your own though is hard, which is why I am so thankful my Master did and pulled me up about it. When you are filled with anger and hate and proud to show someone you can achieve something they said you could not, it is hard for me to take a step back. I have major issues in stepping back from my emotions. Unlike others I know, I personally cannot do it.
Now, how do they relate to being kajira?…
Hubris, pridefulness is unacceptable. It may be just a fleeting passing emotion that once pulled to account by a Master or someone, it is corrected… or it could caused by a deep set gripe. Either way, it is unacceptable. It takes your focus of attention from your Master, from where it should be and puts it firmly on yourself, on this inflated, angry, empty victory… and it is an empty victory. The only person you are fighting with this emotion is yourself. The only person being alienated is you. Hubris is an introspective emotion it eats away inside. It most certainly does not produce a pleasant person to be around. Pridefulness is an emotion that our Masters should pull us on immediately, each and every time it shows. If we are to grow as a person, grow as kajira into everything we can and are able to be, we need that support and holding to account. In addition, our Master’s should not tolerate it at all either. Why should they put up with a haughty female? We are not free; we are not of dominant character. Just as we need them to help us grow, in the same breath they do not have to tolerate any aspect of us they do not like. Why should they? The can take their time to change us – if they wish to… but they certainly should not and do not tolerate bad behaviour.
Pride…
Pride is a necessary emotion. It is needed at some levels within each individual for us to function within life. Without pride we cannot love, hate, feel happiness, sadness and have a basic sense of self worth. In relation to being kajira, you cannot exactly take effective care of your Master’s property without having a basic inherent self worth. Pride is what as kajira, as submissive we feel when we accomplish a task set, when we do trivial little things for our Masters, when we think and act with them in mind. It is that part of that sense of achievement we feel when we obey, when they push us further than we believe we can go and we succeed. A kajira needs to have some sense of pride, but for me nothing beats what I feel when I hear my Master say “good girl”. Two little words that when I hear them, mean the world to me. They mean I have done something right. I have pleased him. I feel proud then, proud I have been able to make him happy and please him. It drives me to try harder for him. Pride is a useful emotion, very useful I suppose for Master’s… it allows them to control us better!
2535 words
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