This post and video on sexgenderbody referencing the film Il corpo delle donne really hit home with the “humiliation = sexy” theme.
The disparity between men and women in the media was glaringly obvious from the TV clips shown in the video. When men do let women appear in the media, even as co-hosts, they treat us like children, or in my opinion even like trained animals in a circus (which is uncomfortable for me to have to say but viewing women as animals is unfortunately, nothing new). They see it like it’s their “gift” to us that they let us think we’re being treated anything like equals, we should be “grateful” for the chance, and they’re only going to take the prettiest and most conforming examples to show off like cattle. Yeah, I went there.
Like we don’t know they’re being condescending. “Oh, look, she thinks she’s so smart, let’s give her a round of applause! It’s like she thinks she’s a real person! Thatagirl, go fetch!” and we’re left to either accept defeat on their terms or to have them turn both men and women against us. I can only imagine how amusing they must find feminists that they (”they” meaning the forces upholding patriarchal society) allow on television who fit well enough into their mold – “Aw, she thinks she can actually influence anything, how cute! High fives all around, bros!” I’m not saying that it is impossible to present feminist issues in a serious light on television, but on cable news programs (I’m referring to MSNBC, CNN, local news, etc – don’t even get me started on Fox) there does seem to be an incredulous, “isn’t this just outrageous? It’s not that bad, these women are loons, not like you normal ladies” tone to the piece.
This sounds like a jump but bear with me, I’ll explain – I think I’m beginning to understand how feminism can exist in the BDSM community in roles other than Dom and I feel awful for not putting more effort into being able to understand better. Society absolutely does make power play, humiliation, and pain “sexy” and it’s not easy for most people to talk about that seriously. Sure, some will casually say “yeah, y and z are kinda hot,” but why? “I don’t know, it’s just cool.” They can’t think about it too much or they get uncomfortable.
The mainstream shunning of BDSM is, I wouldn’t doubt, a charade. If we start actually talking about these concepts, some people might realize what’s going on. Let’s not acknowledge that these themes are present in life as a whole in our society. Let’s not admit that ‘mainstream’ people in general do get off on these same themes, and either don’t recognize that fact or are unwilling to admit it. Let’s tell them this is what’s really degrading, so they’ll reject it and rally against it and not try to understand – and try not to understand.
Ultimately, I would hazard a guess that we as a society fear the shadow self. [Have I told you I have the intellectual hots for Jung? Because I totally do.]
I do not believe that most people are willing, capable, or willing to become capable to meet their shadow self, though, so I don’t know what good it would do to point this out to anyone. If someone has their metaphorical fingers in their ears, looking away singing “la la la I can’t hear you! It’s not true!” … telling them what they don’t want to listen to but already know isn’t going to help.
It is, in my completely inexpert opinion and experience*, nearly impossible to function in society while teetering on the edge of ego death, and I don’t think that being pushed toward it against your will (for a given sense of “pushed toward”) would result in anything but harm. And…somehow I’ve gotten all the way from gender and objectification in the media to ego death. Perhaps that’s enough writing for now, I’m going to go snap back into reality.
*No, I have never taken LSD or mushrooms or that kind of thing because long before those things were obtainable to me, I knew that I had one foot in that door already (didn’t have a name for it yet though) and substances like that would shove me all the way through that door, close it, lock it behind me, and destroy the key at a molecular level. No thanks.
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